The Power Of Regret

„The world needs this book.“ –Brené Brown, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author of Dare to Lead and Atlas of the Heart

An instant New York Times bestseller

As featured in The Wall Street Journal and The Washington Post

Named a Best Book of 2022 by NPR and Financial Times

From the #1 New York Times-bestselling author of When and Drive, a new book about the transforming power of our most misunderstood yet potentially most valuable emotion: regret.

Everybody has regrets, Daniel H. Pink explains in The Power of Regret. They’re a universal and healthy part of being human. And understanding how regret works can help us make smarter decisions, perform better at work and school, and bring greater meaning to our lives.

Drawing on research in social psychology, neuroscience, and biology, Pink debunks the myth of the „no regrets“ philosophy of life. And using the largest sampling of American attitudes about regret ever conducted as well as his own World Regret Survey–which has collected regrets from more than 15,000 people in 105 countries–he lays out the four core regrets that each of us has. These deep regrets offer compelling insights into how we live and how we can find a better path forward.

As he did in his bestsellers Drive, When, and A Whole New Mind, Pink lays out a dynamic new way of thinking about regret and frames his ideas in ways that are clear, accessible, and pragmatic. Packed with true stories of people’s regrets as well as practical takeaways for reimagining regret as a positive force, The Power of Regret shows how we can live richer, more engaged lives.

Editorial Reviews

11/29/2021

Regret „clarifies. It instructs. Done right, it needn’t drag us down,“ writes Pink (When) in this pragmatic guide to harnessing the power of the past. He draws on the largest survey ever conducted of Americans’ regrets, as well as his own poll of thousands of respondents in 105 countries, to reveal the four most common types of regret: foundational (the failure to be responsible regarding education, finances, or health), boldness (the chances not taken), moral (taking „the low road“), and connection (fractured or unrealized relationships). Rather than despairing over regrets, Pink urges readers to think of them as opportunities for growth and learning, and offers a program for doing so. First, one should acknowledge the regret to „reduce some of its burden,“ then grant oneself „the same… understanding offer another,“ and finally, create some distance by talking about it in the third person, which can turn it into a lesson. Pink assembles an impressive array of research and includes some moving stories of people dealing with mistakes, as with one woman whose regret at not having spent more time with her grandparents „helped her to see her own life as a puzzle with meaning as the center piece.“ Readers looking to shake their shame should start here. (Feb.)
– Publishers Weekly

Praise for The Power of Regret:

„Daniel Pink reclaims regret as an indispensable emotion and explains how to use it to make better decisions, perform better at work or school and bring greater meaning to your life. His well-known, user-friendly style, chock-full of moving stories, will have you looking at regret as something that doesn’t just make us human, but also makes us better.“ –The Wall Street Journal

„The Power of Regret dives deep into the research behind the ‘most misunderstood’ emotion and brings it to life through accessible human storytelling.“ –Forbes

„Regret could be overdue for its own rebranding. … [A] look back might be the way to move forward. We might find lessons lurking in moments we’ve pushed from the light. Regret has long been considered a sign of weakness, but what if we saw it as a strength?“ –The Washington Post

„Prolific author Pink seamlessly blends neuroscience, psychology and more for a new look at what he sees as a misunderstood emotion–regret. Pink draws on the largest survey ever done about Americans’ attitudes toward regret to reshape the way we think about it, creating his own three-step process for using regret to one’s advantage in this inspiring guide.“ –Newsweek

„This pragmatic guide to harnessing the power of the past…assembles an impressive array of research and includes some moving stories of people dealing with mistakes…readers looking to shake their shame should start here.“ –Publishers Weekly

„An insightful and rewarding glimpse into the emotional pathways of human contrition. . . .Pink offers practical guidance on how readers can thrive beyond their mistakes, molding them into learning opportunities.“ –Kirkus

„As he so often does, Daniel Pink transformed my understanding of a subject and convinced me of the power of regret. Through his remarkable research, I learned not only what people regret, but also how to optimize those regrets. Every time I read a Daniel Pink book, I walk away a better and more informed person.“ –Sanjay Gupta, M.D., Chief Medical Correspondent, CNN

„I love that Daniel Pink is taking on one of the best (and toughest) teachers in my life–regret. I’ve always known that regret deepened my connection to myself and to others, but now, thanks to Dan’s research and storytelling, I understand why. The idea of ‘no regrets’ doesn’t mean living with courage. It means living without reflection. The world needs this book and more reflection. Now.“ –Brené Brown, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author of Dare to Lead

„If you have long assumed that ‘no regrets’ is the way to live life, then this book is for you. The incomparably candid, clear, and concise Daniel Pink summarizes the latest science on looking backward on what could have been and shows how it can vault you forward to a happier, more productive, and principled life.“ –Angela Duckworth, bestselling author of Grit
– From the Publisher

2021-12-09
A study of regret based on a series of international group behavioral studies.

Culling responses from an expansive questionnaire, bestselling author Pink analyzes the cumulative benefits of hindsight to inform future decision-making. His surveys encompassed hundreds of personal stories from respondents who were able to absorb the sting of regret and channel it toward better quality of life. The author believes that while optimism is essential to improved well-being, negative emotions like regret bring clarity, meaning, and much-needed alertness. Throughout more than a dozen illuminating chapters, Pink cites examples from decades of research on the psychology behind high-stakes negotiations and the resultant regret that often followed. Dubbing regret the „quintessential upward counterfactual–the ultimate If Only,“ the author isolates four core categories: foundation (failure to be responsible in financial, educational, or health matters), boldness (forgone opportunities), moral (the temptation to behave poorly), and connection (unrealized potential relationship). Arguing that the open acknowledgment of regret is key to repurposing it toward the greater good, Pink gives close scrutiny to two research projects that he personally developed and championed: the World Regret Survey and the American Regret Project. The companion website for these initiatives amassed thousands of reflections from 105 countries and across a collage of cultures. Examples include a woman who regrets not climbing into her ill husband’s hospital bed on the night of his death; a Saudi Arabian businesswoman who laments a tendency to downplay her intelligence and inventiveness „to please/not upset others“; and a man who, 60 years later, still mourns not taking a college classmate up on the opportunity to join the 1964 Freedom Summer project. In the final chapters, Pink offers practical guidance on how readers can thrive beyond their mistakes, molding them into learning opportunities, and how to flip the negative connotations inherent with regret into positive experiences: „By making us feel worse today, regret helps us do better tomorrow.“

An insightful and rewarding glimpse into the emotional pathways of human contrition.
– Kirkus Reviews